Zersetzung- psychological torture like narcissistic abuse

What is zersetzung?

According to therichest.com:

‘[it] was a psychological technique used by the Stasi, which was the East German secret police. These techniques were used to silence political opponents.’

(Taken from https://www.therichest.com/shocking/the-15-craziest-forms-of-psychological-torture/)

This is number 2 of 15 forms of psychological torture according to therichest.com.

Why am I writing this blog about zersetzung?

It is narcissistic abuse.

According to therichest.com:

‘Zersetzung operations were designed to intimidate and destabilize opponents.

This was achieved by psychological methods like socially alienating a victim, subjecting them to repeated disappointment, and disrupting their relationships with others.

The goal was to destroy a person’s self-confidence and self-esteem.’

(Taken from https://www.therichest.com/shocking/the-15-craziest-forms-of-psychological-torture/)

How a narcissist achieves zersetzung

‘Socially alienating a victim’

Smear campaign

A narcissist starts the smear campaign against their victim from the very beginning of the relationship.

With a narcissistic parent, it begins as soon as their child is born. For a narcissistic partner, it begins as soon as the relationship starts or it looks like it might.

People are told lies, or twisted truths about their victim. These lies are repeated over the years, and always make the narcissist look like the victim.

The people closest to the victim are the first target, their family and friends, and then the narcissist will spread the same lies to those not so close, such colleagues, acquaintances etc.

Anyone that believes the narcissist’s lies, is under the narcissist’s control.

A narcissist does this, so that if their victim ever spoke out they wouldn’t be believed and they would be shunned and isolated.

Isolation

A narcissist will work at isolating their victim from their family members and friends.

They may do it subtly. They may suggest that someone is not a good friend or stir things between people to cause drama.

Over time, their victim will become isolated, as those people around them get fed up with being let down or ignored and their relationships will fracture.

The more the victim is isolated, the greater power and control for the narcissist.

Afterall if someone feels that they have nowhere to go, and no means to go, they are much more likely to stay where they are.

The victim may not even be aware that the narcissist is the reason for their feelings of isolation and loneliness.

If their victim ever has the ability or strength to leave, then the narcissist has already destroyed their support network. This means that their victim is more likely to come back to the narcissist.

‘Subjecting them to repeated disappointment.’

Future faking

A narcissist will pretend that they want the same things as their victim.

So, whilst their current situation or relationship might not be in a good place, there’s always this spoken or unspoken promise from the narcissist that it’ll all be great in the future.

If their victim wants kids, the narcissist will want kids too. That is until they have their victim under their control and then they might seem to change their mind. The truth is that they never wanted kids, but faking it got their victim under their control.

It’s not about wanting the same thing, it’s about getting their victim under their power and control.

The act

Narcissists are actors.

They pretend to be everything that their victim wants.

For a narcissistic partner, this act is particularly strong at the beginning of the relationship.

They know what their victim is looking for and they pretend to be those things. They are also keenly aware of their victim’s weaknesses, their past pains and hurt, they exploit these to feign intimacy and bring their victim close.

A narcissistic parent knows that their child is striving for their love and approval.

For a while, they will pretend to be a good parent, exactly what their child wants and needs.

Their child’s need for their parent’s love and approval is seen as a weakness by the narcissist.

The knowledge of their victims’ weaknesses are used to hurt their victim even more.

It is only their act that keeps their victim close to them. There is always the hope that they will be what their victim wants and needs. Sadly, it never happens.

Constant striving for love and approval

Being in a relationship with a narcissist there means that their victim constantly strives for the narcissist’s love and approval.

The narcissist knows this and knows to keep their love and approval just out of reach.

It’s unobtainable, but they make their victim feel that with just a bit more effort from them they will earn the narcissist’s love.

Sadly, narcissists are incapable of loving, they are too selfish, self-centred and lack compassion for others.

Narcissists are erratic, unpredictable and unreliable.

Promises are made and broken, consistently.

In fact, a relationship with a narcissist is a long, tortuous, painful, heart-breaking disappointment.

As much as their victim wants a healthy, happy and mutually respectful relationship, the narcissist doesn’t. The narcissist is focused solely on getting the attention and energy they need to survive.

‘Disrupting their relationships with others’

Drama with friends

A narcissist will cause trouble between their victim and their friends or family members.

They will lie, twist reality and exaggerate to cause problems with all their victim’s relationships.

Nothing is unaffected by the toxic effects of a narcissist.

Their victim’s education, job or career, friendships, family members, social position, health, finances, and confidence will all suffer.

Times of stress are exploited by a narcissist, to cause more drama and fractured relationships.

Celebrations are marred by the narcissist and their drama.

The more the narcissist finds out about their victim, from the victim or anyone close to them, the more damage the narcissist will inflict.

Control over friends/partners

If their victim is forging a new relationship or friendship, the narcissist will seek to destroy it.

They might say that the new person is not good enough for their victim. Or that they’ve heard bad things about them, or just make them feel uncomfortable about seeing them.

It’s about power and control with a narcissist, the more their victim is isolated, the more power and control the narcissist has.

Some people the narcissist may appear to like, but it’s only because they can manipulate them and control them.

Anyone truly on their victims’ side, the narcissist will seek to destroy the relationship. They don’t want their victim getting away from them.

Narcissist’s sabotage their victim’s relationships.

Often, the narcissist will blame their victim for the fractured relationship. They must have done something wrong to upset their friend… but it’s all the narcissist.

Sometimes the sabotage looks like concern. But it’s fake, and all to undermine the relationship.

The destruction of a person’s self-confidence and self-esteem

Everything about a narcissist’s behaviour is to destroy other people’s self-confidence and self-esteem.

If they are successful, then they have complete power and control over that person.

They relish the challenge, especially with their scapegoat, to systematically crush that person’s spirit and sense of self.

Nothing is ever spontaneous with a narcissist, everything they do or say is carefully considered to cause the maximum pain to others. The more that they can crush someone’s spirit the better they feel.

The narcissist must win whatever the cost.

If their victim is still in contact with them, it’s about doing all that they can to crush that spirit. Every time they do something that undermines their victim’s confidence or self-esteem it is a victory to the narcissist.

Should their victim start to realise what’s going on, or take a stand, the narcissist has to win by isolating their victim.

Narcissists are very sensitive to even slight shifts in the relationship, or changes in their victim.

As soon as their victim starts to pull away, the narcissist will increase their lies and the smear campaign. Just making sure that people are on their side. Then, once the relationship is over, the narcissist will make sure that they get their story out first.

Their aim, is to appear to be the victim, get everyone rallying around them, and isolating their victim.

The greater damage they can cause to all aspects of their victim’s life, the greater the victory for the narcissist.

They don’t want a relationship with their victim anymore, they’ve discarded them and found someone who gives them more attention and energy.

It’s not about love.

It’s about revenge and hatred.

I leave you to draw your own conclusions between the similarities, or not, between narcissistic abuse and zersetzung.

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https://comebackbrighter.com/2023/03/28/zersetzung-psychological-torture-like-narcissistic-abuse/