Why a Narcissist Thrives on Drama
A narcissist thrives on attention and needs it like a drug.
Negativity gets more attention
As negativity attracts a greater emotional response from people, this is their tactic to get their needs met.
They will create drama and chaos from positive or negative things. Marriages or illnesses births or deaths are the times when they will seek to create drama.
Being the centre of attention
By being the centre of the drama they draw the focus away from anyone else.
These dramatic episodes will often be when someone else is celebrating something. Their jealousy and dislike of anyone else having the attention and being happy is their fuel.
Likewise, they will seek to draw attention away from the family members or friends grieving a loved one.
Make stressful times worse
A narcissist will contrive drama especially at times of stress when family members or friends are ill.
During this time people’s emotions are higher. Therefore, the possibility for drama and negativity get greater.
The narcissist sees this as the perfect time to take advantage of others’ vulnerability and cause maximum disruption and upset.
They know exactly what our weaknesses are and seek to exploit them for maximum attention.
This will be the time when old family grievances are aired. And when difficulties in relationships are exploited.
Cause drama by manipulating others
The narcissist causes drama in a very subtle and clever way so that they are not seen as the source.
They will often triangulate between people in order to control communication and stir people us.
A few subtle digs have the desired effect. Then the family member/friend is wound up and ready to enact the drama caused by the manipulations of the narcissist.
Rarely does the narcissist desire to be seen as the source of the drama. If people work out their toxic influence they may lose a valuable source of supply.
Need attention to feel alive
This attention is essential to a narcissist because without others’ attention they don’t feel alive.
Their fear is that they are so insignificant that they don’t exist. When they get attention that fear is allayed. For them, it is like an addiction to drugs. It sustains them and it is their life mission to make sure they always get enough.
They must always have a source of supply. So, will seek multiple sources in order to make sure that their needs are always met.
Exploit weaknesses
Knowing our weaknesses and exploiting them is the key tactic of a narcissist.
They know us so well and install the strings to manipulate us.
All they have to do is pull the string, and like their puppet, we dance to their tune.
They get a rush out of the power and control that they have over us. It makes them feel superior and more intelligent than us because they know exactly how to manipulate us. This gives them an additional rush.
A child of a narcissist, lifetime attention
The child of a narcissist is expected to be a lifetime supply of attention.
They manipulate us by with-holding love.
They know we crave it, they know we need it, and they keep it always just out of reach. It is the reward that keeps us close to them and always striving.
Their promise of love is the reason we try for so long, we think one day they will love us. One day they will approve of us and finally bestow us with the love we deserve.
We keep making the effort and using energy constantly trying to be enough to earn their love. This is a constant supply of their much-needed attention.
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Originally published at https://comebackbrighter.com on June 29, 2018.