Illness and the Narcissist

3 min readJul 20, 2018

A narcissist will exploit anything for their own gain, even an illness. It doesn’t have to be the narcissist who is ill; it can be someone else’s health problems that they use to attract attention (narcissistic supply) to them.

Stress makes a great time for drama

The elevated stress levels of family members and friends when someone is ill makes an excellent basis for extreme drama.

The narcissist will use this to their advantage.

They will contrive some sort of negative drama out of the whole situation.

This is achieved by stirring between people or twisting the situation to make it all about them.

They contrive drama

Being at the centre of a drama makes a narcissist feel alive and is essential for them.

If they know they are pulling the strings then they get a serious ego rush. It makes them feel superior to those they are manipulating because they go along with the narcissist’s games.

Drama makes them the centre of attention

Some narcissists simply have to the centre of attention, no matter who is ill.

They twist things so that somehow, they are the focus of everyone’s energy instead of the person who is ill.

They know exactly how to manipulate every situation in order to get their much-needed attention.

Illness is to be exploited

When a narcissist is ill, seriously or not, they will use it to manipulate those around them.

There will be constant references to their imminent demise, even if their illness is not terminal.

This is to make others feel guilty and sad or to excuse the narcissist’s bad behaviour.

It is the perfect excuse for the narcissist to get away with whatever terrible drama they have been creating.

….. for attention

A narcissist will lie about their state of health.

Anything and everything they blow out of proportion for the attention they need to exist. Sometimes they will go to extreme lengths to manipulate others into believing that they are ill.

They get an ego boost because others care

It is when someone is ill those that care rally around, a narcissist exploits this for their own gain.

They don’t appreciate that others care about them; they use their love as a manipulation tool and as a boost to their fragile ego.

When they see others affected, they feel superior because they don’t care about anyone else in the same way.

Their entitlement increases

When a narcissist is ill their sense of entitlement increases to a disproportionate level.

They believe that everyone should be available for them whenever they want. And that they should get special treatment from everyone from family members to shop staff.

Their illness becomes another reason why they deserve such special treatment.

The narcissist starts smear campaigns against anyone that doesn’t do as they want. This is to manipulate others to think badly of them. And to guilt the family member into doing exactly as they want.

Boundaries are even more important

When the narcissist is ill boundaries become even more important.

It is the perfect time for them to contrive drama and drag others into it.

These boundaries are essential for self-preservation when they are ill. It is essential not to be dragged into any drama, again to reduce stress levels.