How a Narcissistic Parent Emotionally Harms Their Child

These are the ways in which a narcissistic parent emotionally harms their children.

Seen in a list like this, I found it very depressing but also very validating.

I believe the more we understand the affects of narcissistic abuse, the more we can heal.

A narcissistic parent :

Does not love their child unconditionally

Does not accept the child for who they are

Invalidates their children’s feelings/emotions

Undermines their child’s confidence/self-esteem

Makes everything about them

Are extremely self-absorbed to everyone else’s detriment even their own infant children

Encourages and fosters fear in the family so that they have control and power

Drives a wedge between siblings, fostering dislike, resentment and competition

Are unable to deal with their own emotions in a healthy and constructive way and demonstrate this to their children

Makes their children feel responsible for their feelings

Are entirely self-absorbed

Acts entitled

Seeks control and power over their all family members, including their partner

Belittles or mocks their children’s achievements

Tells/insinuates to their children that they are all bad (scapegoat) or all good (golden child)

Ignores and neglects their children (lost child)

Projects their faults and flaws onto their children

Gas-lights their children (denying something happened)

Manipulates their children by using their need for their parent’s love and approval against them

Only shows ‘love’ when the child is doing something good for their image

Are not a safe and secure place for their children to grow and develop

Teaches their children to be a certain way, only to make him look good

Makes mistakes feel dangerous, the child feels the risk of abandonment by their parent

Lies about their child so they won’t be believed if they ever reveal the abuse (smear campaign)

Are not a safe place for their children to express himself/herself

Neglects their child’s emotional needs

Does not showing a healthy/good template for adult relationships

Makes their children extremely cautious about their words and actions

Does everything they can to make their scapegoat child feel unwanted

Causes the family to rally around them, to the exclusion of their victim

Are occupied and interested only in their image to other people

Pretends to their child that they are a good parent, only to bring their child closer for abuse

Accuses their children of being ungrateful or selfish

Thinks that they deserve constant admiration and praise

Lies about other family members or people outside of the family to encourage fear of others

Isolates their children from other children or adults

Manipulates situations to serve their own purposes