How a Narcissist Behaves Part 2

6 min readNov 25, 2022

There are many ways that a narcissist behaves that is very difficult to spot.

Not being able to recognise narcissistic behaviour leaves you vulnerable to them because the more contact you have with them the more damage they do.

In this second part of my blog, I will reveal more ways in which a narcissist acts. I hope that it will help you identify toxic behaviours sooner and take measures to be able to protect yourself.

Narcissists feel superior to other people, and this is very apparent when they are working with other people. This applies equally to a work setting, as it does within the family group.

Watches /supervises other people working

Narcissists don’t make good team players.

They want a good team on their side, but they don’t want to be a part of it. For them, it makes them on the same level as everyone else. As narcissists are so preoccupied with feeling or being superior, they never want to feel equal with everyone else.

So, when it comes to working, they often watch other people. They will expect other people to participate, do whatever is required whilst they just watch.

Other narcissists relish the opportunity to supervise others. It will be the moment when they get to shine, as they see it, a way to show how much more intelligent or experienced they are. This feeds their ego and sense of superiority.

Of course, narcissists don’t necessarily have more intelligence or experience than others. However, they will act like they do, and dislike anyone disagreeing with them.

Narcissists are the expert in everything because they can’t stand the thought that other people know more than them, it makes them feel inferior.

Sometimes narcissists may sabotage the team project, to make them right or to win. They don’t care about the ramifications for themselves or anyone else in the team, it’s about them feeling they are better than….

If someone asks for their advice, because the narcissist does have more experience or qualifications, the narcissist may not offer support. Instead, they make wisecracks, sneer or make other smart remarks. The team and the project suffer because of the narcissist’s need to feel superior.

When others ask for support, the narcissist will make sure that they don’t get what they are asking for. They never want people to have what they want, even if ultimately the team, the project and the narcissist suffer for it.

Give themselves the best job

Narcissists always want the best for themselves.

When it comes to working, they will always make sure that they have the best job. Be it the easiest, or the one with the most power, whatever is most important to them, they want it.

The input or opinion of other people is not required, once the narcissist has decided- that’s it.

Narcissists don’t care about other people, not about hurting their feelings, or if others are more suited to the role.

If there’s any glory to the role, they want it, but, of course, they don’t want any of the responsibility. Other people will be blamed if things don’t go as the narcissist wants or the project is not successful.

A narcissist may also sabotage the team or project with bad advice, either given because they don’t know what they’re doing or because they are deliberately sabotaging the project.

To a narcissist the most important thing is to win, to feel superior, at whatever cost. The team and the project are not as important as the narcissist’s desire.

It’s very important to understand this, because then you understand how far the narcissist will go to win.

None of it will be about the team or the project, it’s all an opportunity for a narcissist to show their superiority.

The consequences of this can be terrible for the team or project. But the narcissist won’t care about that, even if they are personally affected, their priority is to come out on top.

Others’ ideas shot down

The team with the narcissist, either as a member or as leader, will not feel like a safe place to share new ideas, or concepts.

Unless the narcissist comes up with the idea, it will automatically be belittled, sneered at or disregarded. Whoever came up with it, will be made to feel stupid, incompetent or ignored. This, in turn, will make others less likely to share their ideas.

If the other team members disagree with the narcissist, the narcissist will either get angry, make threats or walk away. Nobody else’s opinion matters to the narcissist, not even if all the other team members agree.

A disgruntled narcissist is likely to deliberately sabotage others, in their desire to be right or to win.

Sets people up for failure

Narcissists are very good at identifying other people’s weaknesses, whether they are physical, mental or emotional.

They will use this information against people and set them up to fail.

It makes them feel superior, because, as they see it, they never fail and they were capable of doing it. And they’ve manipulated the other person into this situation, set them up to be humiliated as much as possible and the other person had no idea.

Undermining other people

Anyone that the narcissist perceives as being superior to them, will be systematically undermined by them.

The narcissist cannot bear the thought that someone else is, or feels, superior to them. This is not based on how the other person acts, but on how the narcissist feels about them.

It could be a boss, or work supervisor, or someone with more qualifications or experience than the narcissist. It is whatever the narcissist places importance on about themselves, their image, this is the most important thing to them.

The narcissist may undermine by gossiping, spreading lies (smear campaign), questioning the other persons behaviour or requests, hinting about lack of qualifications or experience etc.

Again, however they feel that they are superior, will be the ways in which they seek to tear down the other person.

Narcissists are entitled and must win

A narcissist feels entitled to whatever they want, whenever they want it.

This may become an issue when there is a promotion opportunity at the workplace.

Then the narcissist’s claws come out, and they will do whatever they have to to try to get the promotion.

It’s not about their suitability, or not, for the position. Nor is it about other people’s better suitability for the role. It’s about the narcissist winning.

If they don’t get the promotion, there is little anyone can do to appease the narcissist. As they saw it, they lost, and their fragile and delicate ego cannot cope with the slight. So, they may often resign, even if it’s to their detriment.

A narcissist given the promotion, will allow the new power and position to go to their head. They’ve won.

The ones who ‘lost’ to the narcissist, the ones who also went for the promotion, will be reminded of their ‘failure’.

In general, narcissists enjoy constantly reminding others of the ways in which they are ‘inferior’ to the narcissist. Again, this is not about how the other person behaves, but how the narcissist feels about it.

It may leave the other person bemused or confused about the narcissist’s behaviour. But it’s not about them, it’s about the narcissist getting a little superiority hit from whatever they do or say. The other person is just the excuse for them to exercise their superiority.

Competition

Everything is an opportunity for competition with a narcissist.

In that competition lies the opportunity for the narcissist to show their superiority, entitlement and to win.

It’s not about the team being successful, the project working out or the family getting on, it’s about the narcissist’s agenda.

Sometimes it’s very difficult to understand the lows that a narcissist will stoop to. How they will suffer in some way, in order to feel that they’ve won.

Once you understand their agenda, which is behind everything they do, it gives you an advantage.

It’s not about other people, they are not important in the narcissist’s world. They don’t have the ability to care about other people, there’s no compassion, empathy or understanding.

It’s all about the narcissist.

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