Don’t Underestimate a Narcissist

A narcissist will block you from everything good in your life.

Not only do they tear you down when you are celebrating or happy, but they sabotage every attempt you make to be happy.

This concerns your relationships with other people, your job or career, your health, your finances and your home. Every aspect of your life will be affected by a narcissist.

Somehow involvement with them takes over your life and all your energy. Like a parasite, they attach themselves to you, and infect your life. And you are completely unaware of it.

A life with a narcissist is a life unfulfilled.

It doesn’t matter how distant they are, geographically or emotionally.

Somehow, remotely, they manage to take over.

Of course, they don’t do this on their own.

It takes your participation in your own downfall.

A narcissistic parent will have wormed their way into your mind, from your birth. They reside there, spreading their poison and vitriol and you don’t even know it.

Then you get involved with more narcissists, friends, partners, colleagues, bosses, everyone is a narcissist.

You think it must be you.

But it’s not, it’s the poison from your narcissistic parent, that is infecting your life.

So, those narcissistic partners, friends etc have an easier time of it because you’re used to narcissistic abuse.

It doesn’t take much effort from them to isolate you, crush your self-confidence, make you blame yourself and trap you.

Hopefully, as you’re reading this, you’ve made some realisations about someone in your life with narcissistic personality disorder.

Whatever you feel about your life, the things that haven’t worked out, the future you hoped for, the chances are that the narcissist has sabotaged them.

When it comes to a relationship, they don’t want you to find real love, support and respect.

So, maybe couched as concern, they will say that that person is no good for you. Probably because of the job that they have or the car that they drive. It will never be based on the person’s personality.

If you do have a relationship with someone, the narcissist will want to know that they are in charge. So, the drama will intensify, as the narcissist tests your new partner.

Are they the priority to both of you?

If they are, then the narcissist will ‘allow’ you to continue in the relationship.

It’s all about them retaining power and control over you.

Your new partner goes along with the narcissist, then they are just as manipulable as you are. That’s a huge win for the narcissist.

Behind the scenes, they pull the strings.

Once they’ve tested your partner, and they don’t prioritise them, then they will do whatever they have to to sabotage your relationship.

To stay with that person will become a fight with the narcissist, as they try to hold onto control of you.

They will fight dirty, they will lie and twist things about your partner, be ready for it.

The chances are, if your partner is good for you, then the narcissist will make it a fight. And expect you to choose between them or your partner.

This applies to friends as well.

If the narcissist can recruit them to their fan club, then the friendship will be ‘allowed’ to continue. But if they don’t, then they will do whatever they have to to stop it.

So, just as they don’t celebrate, or be happy for you, they want to tear you down, they will actively sabotage you in your job or career as well.

A narcissist wants other people to stay small and less than them, in every way.

Once they get the idea that you are trying to improve yourself, your career, or your finances, they will stoop to any low to stop you.

You see, once you improve your situation you might be ‘better’ than them, and the narcissist can’t have that.

You won’t see it like that, but they will.

It won’t be obvious, the things that they do, they’re much too subtle for that. But somehow, your relationships will fail, your friendships fall apart, your job and career stagnate.

Their most common tactic is to hide their sabotage behind concern for you: you’re not able to take that job because it’s long hours, you can’t cope with the driving, that person can’t provide for you because of their job.

Once you’re tied to a narcissist, you won’t even see how they’re doing what they’re doing.

All your potential, for friendships, for love, for great health, good finances, a fulfilling job or career will be lost.

Those years spent with them, wasted.

The worst thing about it though, is that something in you allowed them to do this to you.

They couldn’t do it on their own, you had to be complicit in it.

The only thing to do is to avoid these people.

Or at the very least, limit the terrible impact that they can have on your life.

If you need help breaking free from a narcissist, book a FREEDOM POWER hour

with Clare from Come Back Brighter

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Originally published at https://comebackbrighter.com on June 13, 2023.